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Be a friend

I am willing to be a friend. In order to do this, I first need to reel in my emotional responses and learn how to listen. I took a class on active listening and I realized that I have not been listening to my partner – not really listening anyway. My own filters and fears have prevented me from being the girlfriend I want to be. I have learned that I do not have to voice every emotion I have and that waiting to see how things play out helps me see that my input leads to a bad reaction instead of what is there. I need to seriously work on rebuilding that trust with him so he can talk to me again. I am making a promise to never be a grave digger and rehash things from the past and use what he has told me as ammunition against him. I have to be honest and dependable with this vow and not go back on my word – even to myself.

Relationship definitions

This week I have been assigned to evaluate what a relationship means to me. We thought it might be best to come up with some sort of contract that puts down expectations on paper so that everyone knows what to expect and what is expected of them. this way there won't be any "I only said/did that because I felt pressured and now it's all different." This is one my my fears, that all of this is just to get me to where I don't give a damn and then all bets are off.

http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Who-Am-I-Meant-to-Be

YOU ARE STRIVING TO BE SECURE


You are a stabilizer: You are the rock in a storm, the one others lean on. Loyal and com-mitted in your relationships, you maintain a support system of like-minded people whom you look out for. (So what if you do it behind the scenes and don't get credit?) You're careful with money, cherish the familiar, and defend the traditions you care about.



What to watch out for: Rapidly changing environments (like a shaky economy) are very hard for you. As a result of such instability, you can spiral into a state where everything seems catastrophic and you're sure life will only get worse. You can also become overcontrolling, rejecting any suggestion that doesn't conform to your idea of the way things should be. To avoid being too rigid, each month try changing one habit. Exper-iment with clothes, drive a different way to work, initiate conversations about subjects you wouldn't normally discuss. And when the opportunity arises to do something new, avoid the impulse to immediately say no—this may be nerve-racking, but the more you practice, the less anxious you'll feel.

Go with the flow

http://zenhabits.net/12-practical-steps-for-learning-to-go-with-the-flow/

Sometimes things are the way they are.

Yesterday I worked on "letting things be", "go with the flow" it was the day after the Pig's date, and usually these days send me into some sort of self-defeating frenzy. As I have been working with new ideas and my CBT exercises, I decided to try to see what would happen if I changed my behavior on these days.
I am still scared of what is going to happen, so I spent a lot of time yesterday with the rapid heartbeat and the butterflies in my stomach feeling.


The website mentioned above has some great tips that helped me with this new behavior strategy. It is an easy concept… just go with the flow... let things be. Nevertheless, why was it so hard for me? As I continued to think about it, I realized I have never been able to "go with the flow" in anything in my life. The black and white thinking has a lot to do with my lack of this skill because either it was good or it was bad. By this, I mean, going with the flow means being acceptable to change. I am resistant to change because stepping out of my comfort zone is uncomfortable for me. My comfort zone revolves around my ability to control everything. If I was unable to control a certain situation, I became erratic and did not know what to do.

Somewhere I Belong

Somewhere I Belong


When this began
I had nothing to say
And I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me

I was confused

And I let it all out to find / that I'm
Not the only person with these things in mind

Inside of me

things to research when i get home

http://www.uncommonhelp.me/articles/let-go-of-the-past/

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http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/self_empowerment/69308/1



http://www.suite101.com/articles.cfm/self_empowerment


"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference." ~The Serenity Prayer

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." ~Joseph Campbell, Author



http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2007/10/03/how-do-i-learn-to-let-things-go/


http://zenhabits.net/12-practical-steps-for-learning-to-go-with-the-flow/