Be a friend

I am willing to be a friend. In order to do this, I first need to reel in my emotional responses and learn how to listen. I took a class on active listening and I realized that I have not been listening to my partner – not really listening anyway. My own filters and fears have prevented me from being the girlfriend I want to be. I have learned that I do not have to voice every emotion I have and that waiting to see how things play out helps me see that my input leads to a bad reaction instead of what is there. I need to seriously work on rebuilding that trust with him so he can talk to me again. I am making a promise to never be a grave digger and rehash things from the past and use what he has told me as ammunition against him. I have to be honest and dependable with this vow and not go back on my word – even to myself.

Relationship definitions

This week I have been assigned to evaluate what a relationship means to me. We thought it might be best to come up with some sort of contract that puts down expectations on paper so that everyone knows what to expect and what is expected of them. this way there won't be any "I only said/did that because I felt pressured and now it's all different." This is one my my fears, that all of this is just to get me to where I don't give a damn and then all bets are off.