left out

Sometimes I feel alone and left out...today my team went for a meeting...they all got up and left me....oh well....its ok, I guess

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laughing

I forgot how much I like to laugh...just stupid laugh...I miss it...

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valentines day

I look around my office and see people with roses on their desks and it makes me sad...I will get nothing for valentines day....

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losing...

Am I losing my relationship or is it just in my head?

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i dont think he cares

So I sent him this email about how I feel...and he said he was going to read it... he hasn't said anything to me yet...don't think he has read it...don't think he cares..don't really blame him...talking isn't an option anymore...all he wants to do is go to extremes and be mad at me...thought writing him a letter might be a better option..it wasn't... I still get ignored...im not mentioning it again...I'm not mentioning much anymore...

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problems

Still have issues with inventing futures...I don't know why...now I am fixated that I am going to go home and catch him in bed with someone...how crazy is that?  And why is it in my head?  Why can't I just let it go already...I can't change anything...I am powerless over any of this shit but I just can't accept it....pisses me off

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another day...

well...everyone is pissed off at me...again....I was doing the dishes because I want to bake christmas cookies tomorrow...and I want to get the house clean for christmas and so I was cleaning the kitchen,j asked me to come sit down because I'm not feeling well and. I said I just wanted to get it started because I have a lot of stuff to do...now everyone is all in a tizzy and mad at me...nothing new...can't seem to do anything right....  I didn't even ask for help and I was planning on doing it all myself... but now I just get to feel guilty while everyone throws shit and ignores me... merry christmas

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